For founders raising
Give ’em the Sim!
A thousand investors want your face, your bio and your worst pitch. On file. Forever. Send them a Sim: an avatar of someone who doesn’t exist. Everyone’s got an avatar. Yours just isn’t you.
No password. We email you a link.
What actually happens
They put you in CRM.
That CRM gets indexed, modeled, syndicated. By humans. By AI.
They share notes. They gossip about you.
Early always looks bad.
Don't expose yourself to the 997 no's.
The earlier the stage, the more doors you knock, and the worse you look. Three of a thousand say yes. Those three meet you. The rest get the Sim.
Whose side we're on
Nobody helps founders at this stage.
Back to the wall. Every knock costs you.
The Simsons care, even if nobody else does.
That's who we work for.
Three things you never do again
Expose yourself
Your name stays out of every dossier. The Sim takes the no's.
Fill in applications
Forms, founder video, interviews. The Sim is the video.
Think about this fund or that
We know the thousand. You don't have to.
We can
Put you in front of a thousand doors.
Shield you from a thousand no's.
We can't
Change what proof is worth.
Revenue beats a prototype beats an idea. We'll tell you what yours buys. Then it's your call.
How it works
Plug in the basics. Let us run it.
Build the character
Name, face, voice, bio. Young, thin CV, maybe a dropout. Exactly what they asked for.
Mission, stage, evidence
Whatever you've got.
The honest readout
What it will actually return.
Approve the spend
Quarters in. Sim goes out. The yeses come to you.
Leave the bitchwork to the Simsons.
Stop exposing yourself. Get back to building.